Expectations

Better! Decidedly!
I'm even giddy with it.

Jeez, I hope I'm not going Manic.
Operate Scheduled Mood Inventory. Check
Check for Grandiosity?
No.
Narcissism?
Less than usual, and its not the malignant kind.
So I think we're okay.

I have exactly  NO expectations.
The expectations I used to have were not doing me any good
I believe they are gone now.
If I should encounter them again, I will politely and firmly ask them to leave.

I have tried and tried to understand what happened.
I dont understand. I dont think I ever will.
What makes other people do what other people do, doesnt matter.


This is freedom.

I dont have to answer to my expectations.
I sure as hell dont have to answer to the expectations of anyone else....or God, either.

Maybe I'll have the words, "Fuck all" tattooed on my forehead.

I dont yet consider my short held sobriety a gift.
But I'll put off that next beer till some other day.
I'm actually enjoying O'Douls non-alcoholic "premium malt beverage".
I can slam 4 with breakfast and  not lose my day.

Its a good day. I can see everything. Future, present, and past.....(Note to self : Schedule another Mood inventory.real damn soon)
When its a bad day, I cant see beyond it. I cant realistically see a present or future.

There will certainly be other bad days. I will write my depressed self a note from my giddy self .

Dear Sad girl, Keep breathing. The color will come back, and it wont be chiding you , accusing you. and if it is, tell it to fuck itself. Love Giddy Girl.


I'm having a fight with God.
Doesnt matter because I'm ditching that asshole,  and will be looking for a new one. Its going to be great!


http://darkergods.blogspot.com/